10 Do’s And Don’ts Of Motivating Children
For many children, the beginning of the new school year brings a sense of dread. It reminds them of the overload of completing homework assignments and studying for tests. Many children struggle to remain motivated. In the same way, so do their parents. Parents want to see their children flourish and grow in their education. However it could be quite difficult to keep them excited about learning. Have you experienced any of the following scenarios?
- I can’t help it. I worry so much for Alexis that sometimes I begin to nag, push, and control her.
- When it comes to helping John with his homework, I lose my patience. I am often frustrated. This causes me to yell and scream. I want to give up. What do I do?
- I feel like a failure when I cannot help Liz study for her math tests. I feel so helpless and it often results in fights with my spouse.
- Jada is so unmotivated and it drives me insane! I try to find ways to keep her motivated but nothing helps.
If you have been in any of those situations with your child, it is time that you find alternative ways to keep the drive on. Here are a few proven ways that you can do this. We have also included the top mistakes many parents make.
1. Give your child control.
As parents, this is very difficult to do. We want to be in control over every aspect of our child’s education. However, this could be damaging. While guidance is essential in keeping your kid focused, it is equally as important that we allow them control. Give your child a responsibility. This will give students the drive to remain engaged in the classroom. They experience a sense of accomplishment and the confidence to continue excelling in school.
2. Maintain a good relationship.
Good grades begin at home. Is your child receiving motivation at home? Make sure that he/she knows that you are in their team. Steer clear of manipulation and control tactics. Those never work. Try character building strategies that will give your kid the awareness that they have a team rooting for them. This will help them achieve better grades and help you understand when things are not going well.
3. Implement the word “when.”
If your child suffers from a lack of endurance while completing homework assignments
or sitting still in class, try implementing the “when” rule. This means that he/she will have to practice patience. Sarah will be able to ride their bike WHEN she finishes her math homework. Taylor can hang out with her friends WHEN she studies for her upcoming history test. This rule goes a long way. Your child will learn the importance of perseverance and finishing what they start.
4. Form a parent-teacher relationship.
Do not be afraid to form a healthy relationship with your child’s teacher. This is essential to their progress. Forming a parent-teacher relationship will help you understand where your child needs help. Try setting time to visit the teacher with your child. Find out creative ways you can help your child keep up to task.
5. Speak their language.
It is easy to tell your child about how badly they are wrecking their future when they fail to pay attention in class. However, reminding them about their future is not the way to go. Children normally do not think ahead as adults do. Therefore, when saying such things, you may not be speaking their language. Try not to remind them about their sole desire to play video games all day. Instead, try highlighting their strong assets. Compliment your child about how helpful he/she is. Remind them that.
6. Allow your anxiety to become their foundation.
One of the top mistakes many parents make is pushing their frustrations on their children. You may have a reason to be upset, however, this should not become your child’s reason to do well in school. This will not help your child and will actually do the complete opposite. Instead of accomplishing excellent grades, your child will operate out of fear of displeasing you. Never let fear be the motivation.
7. Speak words of doubt. Children are sponges.
They internalize the words and actions of their environment. The worst thing you can do is say things like, “I don’t think you will ever understand how to read.” or “Just forget it. Math is not your thing.” Words are very powerful. Those are phrases of destruction. Instead, aim to inspire your child. Implement actions that you see in the most inspirational figures in your life. Consider how you can imitate these character traits to build your child’s confidence.
8. Blame yourself.
Avoid personalizing your child’s academic status. Their lack of desire is not your fault. When you blame yourself, you may actually hinder their ability to believe the best in themselves.
9. Stress “all work and no play”.
It is healthy for children to focus on extracurricular activities rather than schoolwork. Try helping your child maintain balance by choosing to get involved in a hobby. This will help your child refresh in between heavy assignments.
10. Practice discouraging qualities.
When motivating your child toward a successful future, it is necessary that you lead them by example. Show them how important it is to respect others. Let them see how much you value education. When your child witnesses impressive qualities in you, they will naturally follow your lead and become the very best students they can be.
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