There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you are not being heard. In the busy world that we live in, it is essential to be heard above the noise. If you are a business professional, you want others to hear your ambition. If you are a mother, you want your children to listen and obey what you tell them. When you are in a heated argument, you want the other person to hear your side of the story so that they will understand your viewpoint. If the problem is with written communication you may always get help from a writing service, but not everything can be achieved through writing. Everyone wants to be heard and taken seriously. What are some effective ways you can communicate by expressing yourself?
Many times we are guilty of listening the wrong way. Have you ever been in an argument with someone? While giving an ear to the other person’s opinion on a given topic, often times we are guilty of not actually hearing that person out. Instead, we are thinking of our next response and how we will manipulate the other person into thinking like we do. This is all wrong. In order to be heard, you must first aim to get understanding.
When you are trying to get your point across to another person, one rule of thumb is to remember that the point is not the goal. The real goal is in understanding one another. This allows for healthy communication when you adapt yourself in respect.
Combative arguments hardly gain the results you are seeking. However, anger is a healthy emotion and should not be ignored. In order to establish proper boundaries, remember that anger is a choice. You may not have control over another person’s behavior but you do have full control over your own emotions. This means that you can either be the victim or the victor, but you can not be both.
Allow the other person the freedom to express his/herself to you. At this point, you may be thinking this will weaken your position. You may feel like the other person is taking away a privilege and gaining greater ground but that is actually opposite of the truth. In actuality, when you take the time to listen, your speaker calms down.
The person feels like their opinion is valued and they will respond in respect to you. It is at this tone that you are able to have a mature conversation that will lead to solutions. The danger in not giving allowance for the other person to freely speak is high arguments filled with uncontrolled emotions.
When you are in the thick of a disagreement, this may not be your first choice. Naturally, you may want to attack the other person with reasons why they are wrong and you are right. However, doing the exact opposite works wonders in your position. If you want to be heard, combat the conflict with information.
How do you do this? Consider doing the following in the exact order:
Take this statement for example. “Martha, you have made some amazing points. I can see that you hold each one valuable and that you care about its execution. You mentioned your frustration with disorganization with your fellow coworkers. I liked that you stressed the idea of unity within our workplace. That shows that you have a heart for your team…”
Speak sincerely. This is not a way of manipulating the other person but rather your way of identifying with the opposing argument. Communicating effectively depends mostly on the ability of each speaker to come to an agreement with the heart of the subject. When you try this method, you may even realize that your stance needs revision.
What point are you trying to get others to hear? How is your tone of voice? Do you stand up strong while speaking or do you slump in intimidation of your listening audience? Are you taking a confident approach? These components are extremely important to take notice on.
When you approach others without a strong belief in yourself, they will notice. Speak boldly and hold eye contact. Command respect with your body language.
Whether you are speaking to a room filled with people or one individual, you will want to begin by affirming yourself with positive words. Believe in your voice. Believe in what you have to say. Be your own cheerleader and remain intentional.
Take a moment to question your intentions of communicating to others. Are you trying to win the dispute or share solutions? Standing tall in your position may produce a combative environment where the listener feels threatened. They may not understand you fully and quickly take defense. Nonetheless, there are effective ways in which you can get your point across that does not wound the relationship.
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